U.S. Road Trip Home

We didn't have a video camera for the trip home from Jasper so I started a journal that Jamie and Luc contributed to. Kinda long, but reading's optional, enjoy!

Day 1 (Aug. 14th): We wake up at 8, after a wonderful night at Champs singing Free Fallin’ and Time of your Life, to start packing. Because Ed was replaced by Luc for the trip home we decided to bring along a 4 foot tall piece of cardboard glued to a picture of Ed in his work uniform holding a pot of pasta. So the 3 of us and the funny looking man on the cardboard finally leave by 1:30 and head south-east on the Icefields parkway. Although we had to make up some time we stopped in Lake Louise for a polar bear swim and a photo op with cardboard Ed, an idea that was embraced by the canoe dock staff. In Calgary we stopped at the city’s local gem, Peter’s Drive-in, for food and shakes, then in Fort Macleod to fill up, which was a surprisingly nice town in the middle of prairie land. We made it down to the border at Coutts Alberta to be greeted by a man who’s face had never seen a smile. After being asked twice if we had any alcohol or tobacco in the car we were told to come inside where we were asked a third time by another man who conducted the main interrogation and who enjoyed our incessant comments and wit. We then joked around with nice folk from Red Deer and Houston in the sitting area while the officer violated Angie’s (our car) privacy. Once the delay was done we entered Sweetgrass Montana which seemed not to have any buildings or farms, just a sign and lots of unkempt grass. At 1 am after 930 clicks we set up camp behind a couple small roadside bushes about 10 feet from train tracks and not far from the station. We didn’t put a fly on the tent cause the weather was perfect then fell asleep despite the train horns to complete a successful day 1.

Day 2: At 5 am I’m woken by Jamie who noticed that we were being bombarded by an army of sprinklers. After getting oriented we get out and dance around the sprinklers to put on the fly. Because we left the door open, Jamie’s sleeping bag is wet but he powers through and we sleep till 7:15 in the “rain”. We pack up the wet tent, eat a good breakfast at Hardee’s before filling up Angie and buying litre Gatorade’s for $1 a piece!
Everyone in Montana so far is real friendly (minus border control) and have neat accents.
At 8:45 with our Great Falls casino count at 21 we hit the highway.
In Lewistown we stopped for directions/bathroom break and realized people in Montana look exactly like you’d expect them to. Most of the citizens in town are older men wearing mesh ball caps with the red, white and blue stitched in the side and drive one of the 1970’s version of the Chevy pick-up with NRA(national rifle association) stickers on the back. Still though, to us English speaking white folk they’re very kind.

Luc’s Backseat Confessions- Part 1
I have noticed spending a lot of time in the back seat that everything has become one big nap. You are cut off from the front seat conversation due to music/wind from windows. So you end up sleeping to pass time. Take it from me, going on my 5th nap.

So we were going to ride a cow but Richard scared them away. To add to the road trip we stopped at a Wal-Mart and got 3 T-shirts, (blue, yellow and orange) all saying Montana.
Side note Rich pulled over for an over-sized load truck thinking it was an emergency car or something.

Jamie’s Backseat confessions- Part 1:
-Jamie in the backseat now reconnecting with my good friend Norman (Rich’s guitar). Montana is almost over and I must say I am relieved.
-We have realized that we will go through Wisconsin for about 20 minutes which has always been a dream of mine.
-Pictures were taken with Ed in Ashland after narrowly avoiding a gas crisis.
-The backseat is getting smaller and smaller as I slowly lose my mind. The aura and mystique of the 20 minute nap has worn off and I grow weary.
-Montana appears to be lake-less as I have not seen natural water since Alberta. Pretty sure Montana is minimum 300 times more boring than Manitoba.

Luc’s Front seat Confessional Part 1:
This is much better then the back seat. When I was back there I slept way more to pass the time and to prevent my mind being lost to Montanans. The front seat has opened my mind to a whole new world. “The hills are alive with the sound of music.” This is a strange place, pretty sure Montana makes up 85% of the U.S. This place won’t end. Besides the trend of tons of Casino’s we have been passing tons of construction zones with ZERO people working…or even there. I must add in… this is Friday between 9 and 5. They must have different weekends than us. –with love Luc

P.S. We all look sexy in our colour Montana T-shirts.

Luc’s Driver seat Confessional Part 1:
Man, Jamie and Rich are giving me weird looks. Like I can’t drive and write at the same time. HA!

Back seat confessional part Richard:
I feel like I’m sitting in front of a green screen and the same scene continues to replay. My first driving stint is over and Montana continues not to let us go. The break may be hard on her but I am fully ready for the change. I’ve seen more grass and cows then I ever want to see again and I think the only people alive in this state are those attending gas stations with a wall devoted to VHS movies, not a DVD in sight. During my driving stage I was struggling to stay awake while following the back of the same Chevrolet. I tried to stay awake by driving 140 km/h and passing the only 2 trucks in sight. It almost didn’t work but like a Leaf guaranteeing a playoff spot, “almosts” don’t mean much.

Shotgun Confessions Part Jamie.
By my count, South Dakota has 200 times more lakes, 30 times more trees and 1 more Mount Rushmore than Montana. We also passed an 80 foot tall Brontosaurus that I could easily fight if it were alive and if I weren’t lazy.

Day 2 continued:
According to the map we drove from Montana through Wyoming for 20 minutes and into South Dakota but due to the lack of anything but field we didn’t realize it till the silo with Dakota Grain on it. We stopped in Rapid City and experienced again the ridiculously cheap cost of food in the U.S. I’m now almost certain that becoming a U.S. resident would guarantee a lifetime of financial success.
South of Rapid city on our way to a campsite by Mount Rushmore we drove through a strip that was somewhere between a carnival, a small Las Vegas and a shrine dedicated to America’s amazingness.
We stopped for a walk and talked to a friendly local on her smoke break. She figured we weren’t from Montana despite our matching T-shirts and after introductions she admitted, like many before her, that she hadn’t heard of Ottawa or Ontario. We followed her back in the store for some ice cream, she sat at our table and we talked some more. Apparently less than 50% of her grade 9 class graduated, but being a graduate herself I guess ignorance of my home is a constant.
We made it back to the car and complained about the cold while our breaths showed in the air. Wintertime is something we did not expect from the state with “South” in its name.
At a campground nearby we set the tent up on its fly to protect ourselves from the wet grass then laid ponchos out on the floor of the already soaked tent. After blaming our inability to maintain a fire on the -20 degree weather we called it a night.

Back seat confessional, Luc’s round 2:

OK, Mt. Rushmore was pretty good. You wont believe it but there are faces in the mountain….I know the things Americans spend their money on. I also found the Declaration of Independence and they let me take it. Have to hide that at the border.

Day 3:
So, once out of Rushmore’s Black Hills, South Dakota is very similar to Montana. Not much to see so they put some interesting things by the interstate. The statue of the man walking his T-Rex on a leash was magic. Soon after we crossed Missouri river and pulled up to a beach to swim with locals. That was the first non glacier fed water we’d swam in since 2006. Beautiful water and our first “shower” since Jasper. In Mitchell we stopped for the corn palace which is made of brick but covered inside and out with corn. Using different sections of the plant they create designs and some neat art pieces. Not as interesting as we expected but still pretty cool. We powered through the rest of the state and braked for a photo op in Blue Earth, Minnesota where they have a statue of a huge green giant. Surprisingly, bags of creamed corn were nowhere to be found. Minnesota’s much more like Ontario than the last states. Less livestock, more corn and trees. We made it to Des Moines, Iowa by 11pm and we both (Luc slept on) struggled to get a first impression. From what I saw when we were lost trying to get out of the city it seemed pretty nice. We made our way east to Rock Creek State park down highway 6 and while turning off I spotted the dreaded flashing lights in my rear-view mirror. Going 57 miles/h in a 45 where I had actually been looking for the speed limit sign. The guy was real nice and didn’t fine us even without the car registration. That was also the 5th cop car we had seen in our 2 hours of Iowa. Not a prime state for conducting illegal activities. Arrived at the park just short of 1am and failed to find a legit campsite so we pitched the tent by a picnic table overlooking a lake and slept wonderfully.

Front seat confessions, Jamie:
We are now approaching the majestic city of Chicago. Illinois is much windier than Iowa, beginning to understand the term “windy city”. Stopped at the Mississippi river to take a swim, but decided against it for fear of radiation poisoning.
I have decided I would be content if I never saw another giant billboard again.
After 3 days on the road the song “life is a highway” by Tom Cochrane is coming to mind and ringing truer and truer.
Richard’s heterosexuality has recently come into question by myself and Luc. Discussing him singing love songs in boxer briefs to a sleeping Luc.
After several attempts, a truck finally sounded its horn for us.

Back seat confessions, Luc here:
OK, this back seat is a 2X2 box of emotion. I feel cut off from the rest of the world. But even though I have been cut off there are a few things I know are still true in this big blue ball we call home. 1) Canada has yet to win a medal 2) Americans have to keep reminding us that this is the U.S by putting flags up every 100feet and finally, Canada will be less awesome till our much celebrated return. The back seat has a way of throwing you into special places in your mind, held only for the embarrassing ambitions. I keep having dreams about fighting crime with Chuck Norris, enough said.

Front seat confessions, Luc (The Last Stretch)
Chicago “it is day and night”
After suffering on the edge of the sane world in the back seat we make it to the city of Jamie’s hopes and dreams. Rich and myself have also been pretty excited but not to the degree of Jamie. The city is like meeting a manic for the first time. It’s awesome, it sucks it makes me happy, it angers me – all within the first 2 hours of trying to find a hotel.
OK, Chicago has one hotel…..on every street corner. The Marriott is treated like we treat Tim Hortons, must be on every corner. We find a hotel for the cheap rat of $139(cough) per night and it was the definition of techno tacky. “we did a lot in Chicago that Rich and Jamie will tell about but here is the true story of Andy’s Jazz club.
After finally getting dressed and ready to go Rich and myself end up getting into a massive public argument about “band of brothers”, this was not the start to the night the 3 of us were hoping for. Luckily a bum came to ask for money and without realizing it I turn to him and say “I am not giving you money, straight up you’re not getting any!” This one event having been so unexpected caused us all to laugh and get us in the mood to go to places legends are born, Andy’s Jazz. The first two steps into the tiny bar you feel a drawing urge to stay. Without realizing it I pay $5 cover and ma sitting down listening to a jam session between 4 people. Jamie and Rich in shock that I just paid, went in and followed me and it was only a matter of moments for them to be lost in the majestic unwavering notes. We ordered drinks and didn’t talked till the session was over. While we were waiting for them to finish their break we noticed a man at the bar that we named Andy. He had that aura around him that stated he was the real thing. He demanded the same kinda respect held for Frank Sinatra, Al Capon or Al Pacino and he got it. As the performers got off stage it was only a matter of time till they went and paid their respects.
After about 30 minutes of break they all got back on stage and started to play and again it took us back to the 1930’s where jazz ruled. Andy stands up and walks to the bar. Jamie, rich and I move to the edge of our seats. He raises the sax to his lips and starts to play. After his solo we paid for our drinks and voted that he sounded like he was killing a chicken and voted never to judge a book by the cover ever again.

Backseat Confessions Jamie, “Jamie in Wonderland”
Chicago was awesome. Big cities for me are usually hit or miss- Chicago was definitely a hit. In the daytime we walked through the glorious millennium Park of downtown Chicago on Sunday with beautiful weather. This Park was an unexpected wonderland. We saw a giant mirrored bean – I don’t know any other way to explain it, but it’s exactly as it sounds. There was a mini water park with faces of creepy children standing 100 feet high staring at us, a giant concert area, and several beautiful fountains. After realizing that most American shops don’t take “Canada money” we threw our useless pennies into fountains.
As beautiful as the city was in the daytime; it’s ugly side surfaced at night. After Andy’s bar we walked through what seemed to be Chicago’s underbelly with bums and swindlers all over the place looking for money, drugs or booze. One pleasant gentleman followed us for a good 8 blocks rambling on about rich peoples cars and trying to sell us pot, before disappearing into the shadows of Chicago’s ugly north side.
I have never walked down a city’s downtown core and had so many people try and talk to me. This may sound pleasant, but when 90% of these people are complete lunatics, it begins to get a little uncomfortable.

All in all I found Chic City to be a beautiful city that I did not expect. The crime and poverty is to be expected from a city Chicago’s size, but I did not expect the amount of green and the diverse culture all around the downtown. People in the cities of America seem much less friendly but I had an enjoyable time nonetheless.

“Getting into it” –Richard
Driving, for the most part is very much a solitary game. From time to time you’ll find a driving buddy, the kinda car that respects your pace and sits there in your rear view mirror until one of the two of you either exits or decides they need to make more time. Aside from that, everyone picks their own pace and strategy and there is minimal, if any communication between anyone despite being on the same road. During real boring stretches sometimes while passing a truck Luc would stick his arm out and pretend to pull down to get the truck driver to honk his horn. Unfortunately it only worked one time while the rest just weren’t feeling it. On Day 4 after Davenport, Minnesota Jamie was real bored in the passenger seat and tried it himself a couple times to no avail. Luc loved the initiative and joined in with his left arm out while driving. After waking up in the backseat and witnessing the team effort I decided to help the cause. For the next truck we stuck our fists straight in the air as we sped past the bulk of the truck. Luc braked and we all signed with our arms and shoulders out the window and we were rewarded with a big honk. Believe it or not getting truck drivers to honk is something you can get better at, and get better we did. We were able to convince drivers while passing on either side and we worked a streak as high as 12 in a row, every time showing the driver our appreciation by pumping our fists in the air and flashing a smile. Our driving buddy was surely enjoying the spectacle and stuck with us for a surprising time despite our slowing for the trucks. Whenever approaching the truck with our 3 fists in the air, casting a shadow on the road before us and Luc’s and Jamie’s smile’s showing in the car mirror’s I couldn’t help but smile big and feel like a 5 year old. I’m not too worried about it though, it’s important to go back to your roots sometimes and from the cheers we received from passing cars we figured others were getting into it too.

Day 5
After 6 hours of sweet unconsciousness and breakfast in the Marriott there was one more thing to take care of, Chicago’s Institute of Art. Just as a side note, when we’re capable of arriving at the museum before it opens, it opens too late, pffff 10:30 am. The museum though is in a sweet spot, Millennium park and despite being under construction, it had enough to keep even me interested for a bit. We in our colourful Montana T-shirts and board shorts for the 4th straight day cruised around and saw classics like “Nighthawks”, “American Gothic” and “Picnic in the Park”, just like Ferris Bueller did. One of my favourites was “The Solitude of the Soul” by Lorado Taft which was a life-size sculpture of 3 people back to back who were only half freed from the marble slab they were carved from, pretty cool stuff. Because we had to get going and I can only do art for so long, we went off to do more manly things like eat Chicago dogs and drive properly(sorry ladies), which we did. We drove Chicago to Detroit in 5 hours which was shorter than I expected but was not enough time to get us ready for Detroit. I had heard it wasn’t very nice, but wow. We came in listening to rap before the mood changed when we actually saw the place. Chicago’s a beautiful city with a bit of the inevitable slums while Detroit is slums with a couple blocks of decent city. We had never seen so many broken windows, boarded doorways and abandoned buildings in our lives. It looked like the mayor had given up on the place, instead of demolishing old dilapidated buildings they let buildings up to 15 stories tall continue to stain the city’s landscape. Eager to leave we drove onto the border’s ambassador bridge and the 3 of us began a heart felt version of “Oh Canada” with hands on our hearts. The embarrassing boarder control officer just asked us if we had tobacco or alcohol and where we were from before letting us through without any ID checks. Happy to be back we stopped at Tim Hortons and hit the 401. For good times sakes we tried to get some trucks honking and set a night time mark of 8 consecutively on home soil, consider us the Michael Phelps of the road (Who at the time still had more medals than our entire Olympic team). Canada’s not good at much, but it was good to be back in it as Jamie, Luc, cardboard Ed and I drove home.

Memorable quote:
"You never realize how much you miss your country until you go to Detroit" – Luc